Heong -- Author of the
Friend To Girlfriend Secrets
Best friends are off limits when it comes to romance?
No, not really, but some people believe this, particularly girls. Some girls treat their guy best friends like they treat their girl friends. They share hugs and send gifts. If you and a girl best friend of yours have been mistaken as a couple quite a few times, you may have thought about the prospect of hooking up. You may even have joked about it with her. But then, you encounter the wall surrounding the friend zone and you don’t know what to do.
Are you in love with your girl best friend? You’re not the only one to blame for this. Your girl best friend is sweet. She’s there for you. She knows you inside-out and she can tell the difference between your moods. She may have noticed that your feelings for her are not entirely platonic and found it cute that you have a crush on her. However, because you’re already her best friend, she may have thought ‘well, we’re almost a couple anyway, so why should I make an effort to act like a real girlfriend’.
Do you see the irony in this? You’re her calming force when she’s sad or just plain pissed at something. But you’re not the one she spends all day texting sweet-nothings to. You’re the one who goes with her to the mall to pick an outfit for a date, but you’re not the one that’s going to take that outfit off her at the end of the date. Being the guy best friend can be torture, and so many like you have decided that they’re better off being boyfriends. So, how do you start?
Distance yourself. It can be mortifying to think that you’re growing apart from your girl best friend, and it’s all your doing. But it cannot be helped. As long as her affection for you is brotherly, she won’t see you as a romantic or sexual prospect. Give yourself time away from her, but make sure you use this time wisely. Get a makeover, do the things you’ve always wanted to do and make yourself more marketable. Along the way, you may meet other women, play around or not, and become a better version of the guy your girl best friend knew.
Admit your attraction. Admitting your attraction can be very hard if the girl trusted you like her friend for a long time. You know the old adage about the wolf wearing sheep clothing? It’s a bit like that. Things will be different if you seem like a different person when you see her again. If after you’ve worked on your confidence and your goals, you still feel something for her, you can always re-introduce yourself as a potential boyfriend who used to be her guy best friend. It’s a clean slate.
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