Heong -- Author of the
Friend To Girlfriend Secrets
If you’re currently friends with a woman you want to date, you may have several problems right now. The first has something to do with how to let her know about your intentions of becoming her boyfriend. The second problem is dealing with the prospect of being rejected. The third problem is worrying that trying to push things in the direction you want will ruin the friendship forever. While only you can deal with these issues, here are some suggestions.
Read Between the Lines
There are times when it seems like she wants you as much as you want her. During these times, she’s showing affection and being touchy-feely. While this may have occurred in the past and all that hugging didn’t lead to anything, this “hugging-as-friends” incident is an indication that she enjoys the moments as much as you do. This may also be her way of telling you that she’s attracted.
When you’re in the friend zone and you’re always with the girl you like, it may seem like you can take your time and just enjoy her company. But while you’re assuming she’s content with having a guy like you for a friend and she’s never going to be attracted to other guys while you’re around, she’s probably exchanging glances with some hot rookie in her workplace, a friend of a friend on Facebook, or a soldier on an overseas mission on a dating site. The point is to confess to her while she’s not committed to someone else. This will make the transition from friends to lovers easier.
If you tell her you have been secretly harboring feelings for her the whole time after she mentioned that she’s considering dating someone else, she might feel like you’re putting her in an awkward position. Rejecting you or hooking up with you when she already has someone else in mind could make your relationship awkward after you’ve confessed.
Don’t ask her out by saying ‘let’s go out’.
There’s no way to follow up with something witty to lighten the mood after you’ve said ‘let’s go out on a date’ and she has rejected you. If you really want to ask out a friend on a date to develop romantic feelings, and to finally have some time alone (away from your other friends), phrase your offer in such a way that she wouldn’t feel like you’re putting her on the spot.
What you can do is tell her you’re going to an event, a game or a concert and that she’s welcome to join you. This way she understands that you’re going to enjoy yourself whether or not she joins you.
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